Over the years I’ve had a considerable amount of bathroom sharing experience with the opposite sex; in fact, I’ve shared almost exclusively with males my entire life. It all started with 2 younger brothers growing up. Then in college I lived with a guy best friend, then with J, and for a time a couple of his male roommates. So this girl is seasoned in the area of male bathroom habits.
By all accounts I’ve come across the typical dribble here and there and the occasional raised toilet seat. Back in the day after an evening of intense study someone undoubtedly missed their mark a bit as they leaned on the wall, head buried in arm, for support.
But, I do not recall ever coming across a pond sized body marinating on the floor in all its half dried glory. I further do not recall tracing cascades of the stuff down the bowl and into that hard to reach crevice at the side, only to then find another pond stretched around behind the tank.
If I didn’t know better I would assume that a potty training 3 year old had visited with an urgent need to go and a bladder the size of a horse. This would be acceptable. Alas the displays I speak of are brought by way of 20/20 sighted -not otherwise chemically impaired- 2 handed, fully capable, grown ass man. So I am somewhat unsure how to interpret such displays.
Is this artwork?
I find it hard to believe that the size and color of such bodies are overlookable, especially when considering the bathrooms (yes-bathrooms- plural) in question were used on multiple occasions over the course of a few days.
If this is artwork, it is definitely an ongoing project, as this occurs on a semi regular basis.
Does he perhaps close his eyes? How does he not notice the small eco system he has just transplanted and then avoid stepping in it?
It’s like he just woke up one day and said, I sure do have to pee . . . and then because he was just so bored, he went Hey! How about I write my name on the floor?! It will be just like when I was 10 and it was snowing and Jimmy double dog dared me and . . . everyone thought I was the MAN!
*Edit: The “absent minded pisser” is not my husband (or any of the other men I’ve shared a bathroom with) just to clarify.
OH MY GOODNESS! Please for the love of GOD tell me this is not your husband. Surely this is the work of a house guest who will be leaving shortly? Or a workman who has overstepped his bounds? Or anyone else??? Please. PLEASE!!
PS: Thanks for your sweet comment yesterday. You are the BEST.
Haha! No, it’s definitely not J. The H’s bathroom etiquette is actually quite fantastic, no complaints about him : )
Unfortunately this is someone who we know and who will be coming back on occasion, which is partly why I’m struggling. How on earth would I even bring it up or say anything at all? It’s kind of a delicate situation.
But of course you know, all bets are off when it comes to discussing here on this little square of the internet!
HAHAHAHAHAH! But if COURSE. Talk ON, SISTER. He will never know.
Hmmm. This is a puzzling dilemma. My husband’s best friend has potty issues too - though his problem is simply lack of flushing, not spray-ville. Yuck. Perhaps next time he’s scheduled for a visit, put down one of those plastic mats they sell for under desks? You could cut it to fit like a big U - like those fluffy ones they sell. Or you could stick a couple of buckets around the toilet, maybe some would fall in. That is truly disgusting.
PS: I am SO RELIEVED it’s not your beloved. Phew!
Ha-HAH! Buckets!!!!
With little signs that say Please Pee Here and directional arrows.
I think maybe you’re onto something!!!
Good luck babe. Let’s hope he can read. LOL
DEMANDING NEW POST!! WHERE IS IT??!! I want one NOWWWW!!
And to think…all along i thought i was doing a pretty good job of keeping you off my territory! Now i find out that i’ve been outdone.
Well i’m bored at work again; the 7.5 hours of free time day after day can only be consumed by the same websites for so long. So in my ongoing quest for entertainment, i asked myself…”Does E have a blog”? Then i had to ask M, <– i’m picking up on the whole “coding” scheme. M told B “yes” and then the site. So here i am, hold the applause for now, to cause a ruckus on your site.
First-thought, you actually write really well and keep my interest in the shenanigians that you write about. I’m very impressed! You need to look into writing a column somewhere for your local newspaper or a magazine.
Second, i just found out that i passed the PE, applause now. FL found me competent, so they are actually going to let me sign and seal plans. I have the potential to be responsible for peoples lives if i ever design something.
Anywho…just checking in to see how things are going. Any new projects, mailbox mishaps, neighbors, etc etc. Drop me an email and let me know.
Lastly, as a warning, i’ll probably be on here the next two weeks writing comments and turning this site into my own personal blog. Then i’ll move on to somewhere else for entertainment.
That’s all for now my faithful readers.
-B
I knew you would would pass that silly little exam! Soo, what will you design first? I can’t wait to see!
Welcome to my little square of the internet. Comment as you like, maybe you can even start writing your own blog . . .